Out Of Mind
by milkywaymidnight
Summary: Post-Into Darkness, Prompt Fill Round One: So everyone thinks that Kirk & Spock are practically space married now, and are okay with it, even Uhura doesn't really protest. Everyone that is, except for McCoy, who's fallen in love with Spock. What's poor Bones to do now? Kirk/Spock (brief) Not for Spirk fans exactly, Spock/McCoy, Uhura/Kirk


**Title:** Out Of Mind

**Summary:** Post-Into Darkness. Prompt fill: Round One. So everyone thinks that Spock & Jim are practically space married now, and are okay with it, even Uhura doesn't really protest, Everyone that is, except for McCoy, who's fallen in love with, Spock. What's poor Bones to do now?

**Warnings:** Bones!Angst, post-Spock/ Uhura break up, Slash, suggestion of an affair, mild hurt/comfort, adult themes, nothing too graphic, also mild swearing.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Everything belongs to Paramount. I'm just having fun with the characters.

**Story wordcount**:3, 204 total

**Fill For this Into Darkness Prompt:** Round One

Spock/McCoy, or Kirk/McCoy: Homewrecker!Bones

So, after the events of the movie pretty much everyone agrees that Kirk and Spock are space married, including Kirk and Spock themselves. Even Uhura doesn't protest.

Everyone, except Bones.

Basically, I want an illicit affair. Without it evolving into a happy threesome. I want heartache an sorrow and all that shit and I want either of the boys ending up with McCoy, but NOT settling for him because the betrayed person cannot forgive them or breaks up with them. I want them to consciously choose McCoy over the other person.

Bonus points for including Uhura.

Even more bonus points if nobody is really a dick in the end, though they might have been somewhere along the way.

(Preferably Spock/McCoy, but Kirk/McCoy will do just fine too.)

**A/N:**I know anon wanted an affair, but I really don't think Bones would put Jim through that, having already gone through it with his wife and all. Hope you like it nonetheless.

**Pairings: **Kirk/Spock-(brief) not for Spirk fans exactly, Spock/McCoy, Uhura/Kirk

Chief Medical Officer Leonard H McCoy was not happy. Not by a long shot. How could he be? The damn pointy eared Vulcan, whom he's fallen in love with, pretty much hated him, and was now practically space married to his best friend, Jim, who he hardly gets to spend time with anymore, because he was always with Spock now.

Uhura had broken up with Spock about a month after they thought they had lost Jim. He was relieved however to hear that they somehow managed to stay friends despite the break up. He really liked Nyota, and didn't want her hurt over this, even though his own heart was set on pointy ears.

He sighed, everything was such a mess.

He felt like he was losing Jim to Spock. And the worst part is that he can't even hate either of them for it.

He just couldn't bring himself to hate his best friend. No matter how much he might have tried to. And Spock didn't know how he felt about the damn Vulcan so it wasn't entirely Spock's fault that he preferred Jim's company over his either.

After he heard about the break up, he first tried to make his affection for the Hobgoblin known by trying not to argue with him so much, which on seemed to just confuse Spock, and the Vulcan still remained completely oblivious. He even started to give the Vulcan compliments, which only ended up confusing him even more. He even tried sitting with him the mess hall a few times, only to have Spock make up some excuse to leave.

It was official, he destined to be alone for this five year mission. It wasn't fair!

He was so deep in thought that he lost his footing, tripping over himself, and bumped his head hard into the bulkhead.

"OW! GOD DAMN IT!"_ 'What next?'_

He managed to straighten himself up, and rubbed his suddenly aching forehead.

He turned a corner, and continued heading back to his quarters, calling it a night.

The next morning, McCoy slowly awoke, and just lay there for a good forty minutes or so, before getting ready for the day, and then headed for to the mess hall for some breakfast. It was doubtful that he'd be able to stomach anything, but he was determined to try. He wasn't going to let his unrequited love for a certain half-Vulcan member of the crew break him. He was a doctor damn it. Not some lovesick teenage girl.

He paused outside the doors momentarily, before stepping closer, so they could swoosh open, and he walked inside. Once he heard the doors swoosh closed behind him, he froze as he spotted the reason for his heartache sitting at a nearby table with Jim. They looked in his direction then, and he tried not to glare. Great. Now he's just lost his appetite.

"Hey, Bones! Come sit with us?" Jim requested of him loudly, which caused a few other heads to look in his direction also. He tried not to blush from the awkwardness he felt at being stared at, and gave Jim a little wave, before going to the replicator, and ordered something small, and some coffee, before making his way over to the duo.

Once he sat down, he noticed Jim's eyes giving him a good look over, and tried not to look away.

"Jesus, Bones! You don't look so good," his best friend observed, his voice filled with concern.

"Gee, thanks for the boost of confidence Jimmy! You just made my day," he retorted sarcastically, taking a small bite of his toast.

"The Captain is right, Doctor. You do not look well," Spock backed Jim up. his voice also laced with concern, though you wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't know him well enough.

He turned to face Spock then, and he softened a little at the look of concern in his supposed rival's brown eyes.

"I'm fine," he tried to reassure them both, but it was clear they didn't buy it one bit.

"Have you been eating alright, Bones?" Jim asked.

He sighed, "I just haven't been that hungry lately, Jim. It's not a big deal."

Jim's eyes widened looking a little taken aback. "Not a big deal? I'd say trying to starve yourself is so a big deal."

He narrowed his eyes at Jim, "I never said that I was trying to starve myself, Jim. You're jumping to conclusions. As usual."

Jim jumped out of his chair then, looking positively pissed at him, but he remained seated, hoping to avoid a fight if he could.

"The hell you aren't! Haven't you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Just look at you. You're as pale as a ghost, and as thin as an iron railing."

"It's none of your damn business! Quit being such a damn mother hen" he snapped, jumping out of his chair as well, glaring murderously across the table at his best friend.

"Actually, as your Captain. Your health is my damn business, Bones. But I'm also your best friend. I'm worried about you," Jim argued, softening his tone a little.

"Some best friend you've been then. You've barely said five words to me in the last month!" he shouted, causing Jim to widened his eyes in surprise.

"I've been busy. That doesn't mean I'm not your friend."

"You know what, Jim. Go to..."

Before he could finish his insult, and get himself into trouble, he felt Spock wrap his fingers gently around his wrist, stopping him. He clenched his fists, and closed his eyes tightly, and tried to control his emotions. He really didn't want to make an ass of himself in front of Spock.

"Calm yourself, Doctor."

"I'm trying! I just...I can't...I just can't sit with you two right now. Excuse me," he said, feeling lost again when Spock let go of his wrist, and he bolted for the exit.

Later that day,

"Tell me, why do I have to be on the away team again?" McCoy asked Jim grumpily. He hated transporters, and Jim very well knew that.

"Because Bones, I think it would be good for you to get some fresh air for awhile." Jim replied, slightly nudging Spock for back up.

"I agree, Doctor."

He snorted, "I'm not sick!"

Jim smiled a little, obviously not believing a word he said. "Sure you're not."

"I'm not! You're both worrying over nothing," he insisted, knowing it was already futile. Once Jim's made up his mind about something, it was liturally impossible to get him to change it. Unless you're Spock that is.

"Nothing?" _'uh, oh!'_ Jim sounded pissed at him again. That was never a good sign. He flinched a bit. "Nothing? You're our friend, Bones. We only want to help you."

"I don't need your help! For the last time, I'm not sick! Incase you've forgotten, I'm the Doctor around here. I'd know if I was," he seethed, unable to stop himself from raising his own voice.

"Well that's too bad, because you're getting our help, even if you're not sick. Right, Spock?"

Spock simply nodded his agreement, "Indeed."

He groaned, covering his face with his hands in frustration, "You know I hate those god damn transporters!"

Jim laughed at that.

"It's not funny!"

Once down on the unexplored planet, which they've yet to come up with a good name for, McCoy was very relieved to see that he had made it one piece, though it would appear on the outside at least. He would have to have Chapel give him a complete physical when they get back to the ship, to make sure everything was okay on the inside too.

"That wasn't so bad now was it, Bones?"

"Shut up!"

Jim laughed, and Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

"Urg! Why do I get the feeling that this is going to end badly already?" he whined, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. He hardly got any sleep last night, because all he could think of was the Vulcan who was currently watching him, like he was trying to figure something out, before following after Jim.

"Come on, Bones! Hurry it up. I swear to god if you get lost on us, I will shoot you," Jim threatened him, as Spock caught up to him, and raised his eyebrow at Jim. He knew it was an empty threat though. No matter how much they argued at times, he knew Jim would never hurt him.

He shook his head at himself for getting lost in thought again, and hurried to catch up with them. Those two are going to be the death of him someday. He just knew it.

Sometime later,

McCoy hated it when he's right.

Somehow, a little while ago, he had managed to get himself separated from Jim and Spock.

And to make matters worse, his communicator wasn't working, and it was starting to rain. It was coming down hard. And Seriously, would it kill Starfleet to invest in umbrellas. He despised the rain, and the chill that came with it.

He rubbed his arms up and down, hoping to warm himself up a little.

After having searched for his companions for awhile with no luck whatsoever, he decided the best thing to do was to find a place to try and protect himself from the storm brewing, and just let Jim and Spock find him.

But after searching, and searching with no luck again, he gave up, and perched himself down by a tree, and leaned his back against. He had no way to protect himself from the storm now, and he prayed to whatever gods were out there, that Jim and Spock found him alive and well. He didn't want to die. Not like this. Not because of a damn storm.

If he survived this, he was going to suggest to Starfleet that they name this planet, The Death Trap planet.

He must've fallen asleep, because the next thing he was aware of was the sound of the monitor above the bio bed. He slowly blinked his eyes open, and saw Jim and Spock hovering at his bedside, looking worried.

"Finally, you're awake! What did I tell you about getting lost on us, Bones?"

"I believe you said that you would shoot him, Captain," Spock spoke for him.

"You both have terrible bedside manners," he said, coughing. His throat felt incredibly dry.

Spock handed him a glass of water, looked hesitant for a moment, before reaching down, blanketing his free hand still laying on the bed comfortingly with his own.

Hmm. What do you know? The Hobgoblin does care. Maybe Spock's bedside manner wasn't so bad after all.

After having been released from Sickbay later that evening, McCoy made his way back to his quarters to rest. He didn't even have the energy to change into his night cloths, or take off his shoes, before falling face down on the bed, and was out like a light.

A little while later, he heard his doorbell chime, and he groaned. Whoever it is better have damn good reason for spoiling his alone time.

"Come in!" he called, pushed himself up so that he was sitting on the bed, and facing the door.

They swooshed open, and he was surprised to see Spock enter.

"I..." Spock paused, looking unsure of himself, and folded his hands together behind his back, before continuing, "I inquire as to well being, Leonard?"

He rose his eyebrows at the Vulcan. This was the first time Spock's called him by his first name.

"I'm fine."

Spock looked like he didn't believe him, and moved closer to the bed.

"I believe you are lying to me, Leonard."

He narrowed his eyes. He didn't appreciate being called a liar, even though he knew Spock was just worried about him. He really didn't know who was worse in that regard, Jim or Spock.

" I said I'm fine, pointy ears," he insisted, hoping Spock would just let it go.

Their gazes locked, and he could see a little hurt in the Vulcan's eyes, before the mast was firmly set in place again.

"How long have you felt for me?"

McCoy's eyes widened, stunned, and suddenly frightened. "How?"

"You forget, Leonard. Vulcan's are touch telepaths."

McCoy mentally kicked himself, avoiding Spock's brown eyes now, _'Of course. Spock must have felt what he was feeling when he touched him that one time in the mess hall, and then recently in Sickbay. How could I have been so stupid?' _

He sighed, "Even if I did, I know I can't come between you and Jim."

He still couldn't bring himself to meet Spock's eyes. He was afraid of what he would see in them.

"Jim doesn't have to know. No one has to know."

McCoy couldn't believe his ears. Was Spock actually suggestion what he thought the half-Vulcan was suggesting? "You mean you want an affair with me? Are you out of your Vulcan mind? I can't do what my wife did to me to, Jim. I can't hurt him like that! I won't. I can't believe you would even suggest it. It's not very logical of you, Spock!" He was shouting now, but he couldn't help it.

"I...I know. Forgive me, Leonard. It was not my intention to cause you unnecessary stress."

He sighed, calming down a little. "I know, Spock. Look, you can't have both of us. I admit, I know little of Vulcan customs, but that's not how we humans operate. You have to make a choice. And I'll understand if you choose, Jim. It'll hurt like hell, but I'll understand. I only want you to be happy. And don't you dare say that's illogical of me, because I know you better than that."

Spock just stared down at him for what seemed like an eternity, before leaving without another word. He hated to force Spock to choose, but there was no way he was going to put his best friend through that kind of pain.

McCoy watched Spock go with sadness in his stubborn old heart.

He was seriously getting too old for this shit. If Spock didn't want him, then he gave up on ever finding someone to share his life with again.

Sometime later, McCoy found himself taking a stroll through the corridors, when he quite unexpectedly bumped into Uhura, literally.

"Whoa there, Doctor!" the lady said, helping steady him on his feet. "You must've been really deep in thought there. Everything alright?"

McCoy nodded, stepping back from his friend a little.

"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern."

"You were thinking about Spock weren't you?"

McCoy was dumfounded, "How?"

"It's hard not to notice the way Spock looks at you on the bridge lately, having been on the receiving end of that look myself, and you refusing to look at him in return. What did Spock do to deserve you ignoring him, McCoy? I can tell it hurts him. And I can't stand to see him like this."

He groaned covering his face with his hands, "Hell, you're not going to let this go are you woman?"

Uhura shook her head stubbornly no, and folded her arms against her chest, waiting patiently for him to reply.

He sighed, and answered softly, "He came to me last night. He wanted to have an affair with me. I couldn't do that to, Jim. We all know those two are practically married now."

Uhura sighed this time, and raised a hand, resting it on his shoulder. "I know, Spock. He doesn't choose his...partners lightly. He told me once that same sex couples, and polygamy wasn't illegal on, Vulcan. If he suggested such a thing with you, be sure he only did it, because he really does love, and wants to be with you too."

McCoy frowned, "I told him he had to choose. I'm giving him space to do be able to do that."

Uhura frowned also, "I'm sure Spock will choose you then. If the way he looks at you is any indication."

"Thanks for the boost of confidence, Nyota."

"You're welcome. Besides, Spock knows how I feel about a certain Captain of ours too. And he wouldn't want to get in the way."

McCoy raised his eyebrows, surprised by the admission. "You're in love Jim now? Really?"

"Is that a problem?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at him the same way Spock does, and he blushed a little.

"No. Not at all. I'm just surprised is all. But seriously, from Spock to Jim? There's something wrong there," he said, expecting the lady to hit him for the playful insult, but Nyota laughed out loud instead.

He shook his head. And here he thought that he was the messed up one.

It wasn't long before McCoy got his answer,

A few days later, after his little conversation with Nyota, McCoy was taking the turbolift to the bridge, to find it already occupied with a certain Vulcan he's been carefully avoiding.

"Commander," he greeted, stepping inside the turbolift with the half-Vulcan.

"Doctor," Spock greeted back, with a slight nod, as the doors swooshed closed behind him.

Before he could order the turbolift to resume it's obvious destination to the bridge, Spock pushed him against the wall, and crashed their mouths together. At first, he struggled to get free from Spock's tight grasp, but Spock felt so good pressed against him like that, and he eventually surrendered, letting Spock have his way with him.

"I choose you, Leonard. Jim wasn't surprised, and gave us his blessing."

"Why me?" he managed to breath out, trying to catch his breath.

Spock loosed his grip on his, and pressed their foreheads together softly.

"Because you need me."

McCoy scoffed at that, "Jim needs you too."

"You need me more, Leonard."

McCoy huffed, letting Spock place a soft kiss on his forehead, before pulling away, but still held him at arms length.

"I'm a, Doctor. Not a damn invalid, Spock. I can take care of myself."

Spock stared at him, and cupped his cheek in his palm, "I am aware of that, Leonard. I still wish to be the one to protect you regardless."

"And love me?" he asked, knowing it would be hard for Spock to admit it.

"Yes," Spock answered softly, kissing him more gently this time. McCoy moaned, wrapping his arms around Spock, deepening the kiss.

Hmm. What do you know? Maybe he'd get his happily ever after all.

**The End**

Feedback is lovely!


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